Saturday, March 2, 2013

Why I Married My Girlfriend And Ditched My Fiancée


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I had to stop in my tracks. So she just motioned to me, howbeit ostensibly, that that was a grave error. She took one quick glance at me, and then another, after which she muttered something under her breath. “I do NOT have a boyfriend. My fiancé is doing great. There is NO word like boyfriend in the bible.”
The harsh realities dawned on me. “I must be a baby Christian,” I thought to myself. Only then did I begin to wish that I had asked her what the Greek, Aramaic or Hebrew word for ‘fiancé’ is. And shortly, the harsh realities of her inclinations will dawn on her, too.
One cold evening…

So, ‘boys’ had to declare their assets at an executive meeting, and somehow, a young man had to declare “single” while his immediate past girl had pre-declared in a “maritally intended relationship.” It sure was a very cold evening for her. She stormed out of the meeting – out into the waiting hands of other female leaders, who are ever present to solve such problems. When will these end?
I have heard countless other stories. Is it the one where a brother asked two girls in the same room out or another that a friend once wrote about, of how the “Holy Spirit” awakened a boy in Fajuyi Hall and told him to go to the third compartment of the net at the University Sports Center, where he would find a girl in a red top waiting. He did not find the girl waiting and when she would eventually arrive, she was in the second compartment. I’m assuming for the “holy spirit” that she was the one, because the girl eventually came in something that we would have to convince ourselves was red, since we do not expect the spirit of truth to tell a lie…
I once read a story of how a man in front of a priest did not confess to the priest because he didn’t have a collar on. The priest asked the man, “does the collar make the priest?” When the man insisted on the priest having a collar on, the priest put a collar on the table and walked away.
Do terms determine what is in the heart of a man?
The human mind is the most deceitful of all things. It is incurable. No one can understand how deceitful it is. Jeremiah 17:9 God’s Word Translation
Finally, he has opened up. He has popped the same question he popped to the 18 girls before you. That self-same silly question for gullible people who make themselves easy to prey upon. The question (or statement in some cases) that I’ve refused to believe classmates and friends have asked. I’ve heard “Can I be maritally intended towards you” and “I want to have an affair with you” all in the name of I’m not asking her out! Do these terms actually give an accurate reflection of the incurably deceitful functions and programs in the hearts of men (and women)?
Joshua Harris kissed dating goodbye…
…and you’re kissing your own fiancée goodbye??!! He explained what he meant – perfectly. God bless the (not quite so) young man. He kissed dating goodbye, so there wouldn’t be that false idea that we are to ‘test the waters’ before we get married. But then, we have kissed dating goodbye, and are adding more to it. We’re going the extra mile, kissing our ‘fiancées’ goodbye. I have a friend of a friend who has had about 8 fiancées now and still counting. The very reason this young man wrote his volume has now been defeated. The words we heard, the ideals we won’t keep.
Let him not think he will receive anything from God!
You know him, right? Yes! I’m talking about a double minded man. And the reason he would not receive is because he is very unstable in all his ways. A person who has doubts is thinking about two different things at the same time and can’t make up his mind about anything. He who has found a wife has obtained favour from the Lord. But you really want to receive favour from God concerning a life partner, brother, why are you being “octo-minded”?
He was merely stating the obvious.
There was this comic I saw about Adam and Eve. It read, “When Adam told Eve that she was the only woman in the world for him, he was merely stating the obvious.” I’m sure Adam loved Eve – he had no choice, really. The Idea that a Christian can ‘miss it’ in marriage, howbeit slightly true, has made many people conclude in their minds on the fact that they have options. They go about after every problem in their lives looking for where exactly they missed it. A ‘man of God’ once told a disconcerted man that the source of the problems of his life was his wife. And as a result, he was not supposed to have sex with this woman until further notice. Who was he supposed to be having sex with? During a singles summit, the preacher said there are things you must know before you choose someone you want to marry, and the first and most important one is that she MUST be a believer. No Questions! Paul said:
Have we not the right also to take along with us a Christian sister as wife, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas (Peter)?
That’s THE point to not miss. Don’t consider alternatives. I read from a friend just this morning about how his girlfriend has been on and off, hearing from God and ‘un-hearing’ about the relationship. When the realities dawned on her that she was about to miss her Val gift, she tried to make amends. Alas, it was too late. She was dating an Igbo boy. Even in marriage, some people start to consider the fact that they’ve missed it. And you expect the marriage to work out. Are you a learner?
Who is this my fiancée, sef?
Let me tell you what I love about my girlfriend. We don’t go and pray in sports – we don’t have to. She doesn’t force me to fast on Wednesdays, not at all. But when we do have to pray together, its pure bliss. I know her parents and they know me. I didn’t have to go and meet them in a semi-formal introduction style. My girlfriend opts to pay for things (sometimes), she buys me gifts and I do likewise. My pastor knows about our relationship. We decided to inform him. She has cried in my arms before, I have expressed my fears to her. She has five siblings. I go to her place and she comes to mine (duh!).
On the other hand, my fiancée…oh my God, this is just a burden! We meet in pastor’s house, my subgroup head has to approve the gift before I can give it to her. I have to have heard from God, o! Expressly, not the still small voice and wait, have I prayed and fasted about it? Oh God, lest I forget, its wednesday, our day of mandatory prayer and fasting. Now I have to feign sickness. Wait, o! If I tell her I’m sick, she will come with bible verses for me to recite. Gosh, can’t I just be alone? I went to her family house to meet her parents as required to by my subgroup head. Hope these people know there’s still a long way ahead of me. Her house was, hmmn, intimidating. Not that they’re rich, mind you. No, her mum was asking questions that made me feel very awkward. Those were the worst 30 minutes of my life. I promised myself never to go back there.
My relationship with my fiancée is in everybody’s face. I was a former exco, and so, I had to date a very ‘spiritual’ sister. Isn’t it needless to say that her skirt must always be pleated and she can’t wear trousers? God! So it’s possible for someone not to have seen Star Wars, The Lion King and Tom and Jerry? What do these people spend their lives doing? My fiancée…I wish I was the one who really took this decision to date you. How many siblings do you have? I’m sorry, after that official visit to your house, I completely blanked out. I do not know who I am dating…I mean ‘maritally intended towards’. Who, I ask, who is this my fiancée, sef?
I want to go and spend some time with her!
Time’s up! I want to go and talk (just talk, duh) to my wife. Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow. I love writing – a lot, and that was my big excuse not to talk to my fiancée. I was officially “in a relationship” with her. It was announced in my fellowship and it was on the secretariat’s notice board. All the ladies gave me my space while my fiancée encroached on my free space. It was hard discussing free flowing issues with her. Very hard. She was my fiancée for 4 years (we started dating Part 2 first semester). I have to round off this piece. I gave my girlfriend an engagement ring after a year of dating her. I asked her to marry me. She said she would. I didn’t ask her to marry me that night at staff school, one year before I gave her the ring. I asked her to be my girlfriend. It’s funny we both knew what we wanted. And this is how…how I married my girlfriend and ditched my fiancée.
NB
My very good friend, Tolu Otemuyiwa also married his girlfriend. He always called her his girlfriend and I really wondered if he was born again when I met him. Now, they are happy together with a child. Uncle Tolu, I hope another is on the way *winks*. And me? After I met my girlfriend, I kissed breaking up, goodbye! J
- See more at: http://www.omg.com.ng/2013/03/why-i-married-my-girlfriend-and-ditched-my-fiancee/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+omgnigeria+%28OMG+Nigeria%29#sthash.9pfSHO3W.dpuf

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